lovesick friend
by what.you.see.isnt.what.you.get
Summary: a poem i wrote about how bella would feel if there was a different scenario when she fell in love with edward. might make a poem for edward later...
1. prologue

OK, so heres how everything is to go... this is a shared story between me, (what you see isnt what you get) and dee ( Me Love Edward Cullen). this is basically a prologue... hence the name... but the story will go as follows: Chapter, poem that matches, chapter, poem, chapter, poem and so on untill the story is finished.

In this poem, Bella has been Edward's best friend since 2nd grade. Bella loves Edward and he just decided that he wanted to go out with Rosalie Hale.

As I'm waiting here

Just watching, crying

Wondering why?

Why did I never say anything?

What would have happened if I had?

All these questions flooding in my mind

Leaving me no escape

It's overwhelming

I can barely stand

But u round the corner with her

Hand in hand with someone I wish I could be

And I fall to the ground

I can't hold on to anything anymore

It's like my body is shattered

And everything tumbles around me

"Why can't I be her?"

"Why can't I have you?"

"Why can't I hate you?"

"Why can't I do anything but love you?"

Why me?

Why now?

I just long for you

But I know I cant have you

And I will be the friend you need

Until you don't need me

I will be strong

And know that we aren't meant to be

For I am just

A lovesick friend


	2. Chapter 1

I slammed the truck door and walked to one of the benches in the school patio, where Alice was waiting for me as usual. "Hey, Alice." I greeted sitting down next to her, she looked up from the paper she was reading.

"Hey, Bella!" She greeted cheerfully, as always. How she managed to be so hyper in the morning will always be a mystery to me. She must drink about a pack of coke before school starts… yup that must be it. I chuckled at her.

"Where's Edward?" I ask, realizing that my other best friend, Edward Masen, wasn't with us.

Alice was reluctant to answer. "He's with someone." She said slowly, looking at my face cautiously.

I sighed "Rosalie." Alice nodded. "Of course." My day suddenly turned sadder.

Edward and I have been friends ever since 2nd grade. I started to develop feelings for him and fell in love with him during 9th grade, I was going to tell him how I felt , but starting junior year he had started to go out with Rosalie Hale, the most beautiful girl in school. I knew it was bound to happen, I mean, Edward is the hottest guy in school and Rosalie was the most beautiful and popular girl in school- they are perfect for each other. I wasn't good enough for him as Rosalie is; it was my own stinking fault that I had to fall in love with him!

Alice gave me a sympathetic smile. I knew she was going to say something on the matter so I hastily changed the conversation. "What's this?" I asked picking up the paper that she was reading hoping that the conversation was changed. I knew that if she talked about Rosalie and Edward I will probably end up in tears.

"Um it's about some sort of singing competition. Hey! You should join it!" I looked at her with shocked eyes. She's got to be kidding! I mean, me _singing _in front of the _whole_ _school_! Yeah when pigs fly…

"Thanks, but, no thanks." I replied.

Alice pouted. "Oh, come on, it will be fun! Besides I've heard you sing before and you were great!" I thought back to Alice's party. Alice had decided to play truth or dare. Alice had asked me truth or dare and, I, not wanting to look like a chicken had chosen dare. She had dared me to sing Can't Behave by Courtney Jaye. I shivered.

I sighed out of relief when Emmett approached us. Emmett was another best friend and a big bear, as I call him. He was like the big brother I've never had and he was very protective of me. I waved, "Hi Emmett!" He jogged up to us.

"Hey Bells. Hey Ally." He greeted us by our childhood pet name. From the corner of my eye I could see Alice glare at Emmett. Alice hated being called Ally, and Emmett who loved to get on her nerves called her that constantly. I suppressed a laughed.

"Come on. The bell's about to ring." I said, getting up from the picnic table. We walked to English laughing and joking, but the moment that we rounded the corner I felt myself spiraling down to depression. Edward was walking toward us, and what made my chest throb painfully was that Rosalie was walking beside him and he had one strong arm wrapped around her waist.

Alice and Emmett shot a look in my direction.

I made a move to run the other way, but Emmett grabbed my elbow before I could. I felt Alice rub my back comforting. "It's going to be okay, Bella." She smiled. Her blue eyes flashed towards Rosalie and Edward as they came to a stop in front of us. I nodded when he greeted me and gave a tight smile at Rosalie. I ignored Edward as he looked at me with an unfathomable expression in his eyes. "So are you still up for it, Bella?" Alice asked me after what seemed like a couple minutes later. I realized that I hadn't been paying attention. I was focusing all my thoughts on not breaking down.

"Huh? Sorry. I didn't hear."

"I said if you still want to do the movie night tonight."Alice repeated. I nodded.

After a couple little pointless chit-chats Alice, Emmett, and I finally made our way towards English class.

-Lunch-

Emmett and I walked in the cafeteria, just coming from Spanish together. My step faltered as we neared our usual table. Edward and Rosalie were leaning closer and closer together until finally the kiss. I looked away from the couple, with a lump in my throat.

_Don't cry._

_Don't cry._

I chanted to myself over and over again. Emmett's deep voice made my come back to reality. "Why don't you tell him how you feel?" I looked up at Emmett and saw him looking at the table with an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

I took a deep shaky breath and answered. All the while chanting _Don't cry_ mentally. "Because I can't. Because I love him, and if he's happy with Rosalie, then I wont get in the middle of it. I'm fine with it if he's happy." I said.

_Don't cry._

_Don't cry._

"No, you're not. You're not _really _fine with it." He contradicted me. I smiled sadly up at him.

"Life isn't always fair." I said.

"Life isn't always fair." I repeated, my voice was barley above a whisper. I turned around and walked back out the cafeteria door and into the fresh air, wiping a few escaping tears that rolled down my cheek.


	3. Chapter 2

I want to fly

And with him I can

Every time I'm near him I just get that feeling

It makes me confident

But then I can't tell him how I feel

I can't stand to get rejected again

I can't bear it anymore

If he only knew

Then maybe everything would be better

I just want a place in his heart

As more than a friend

If he knew.

It wouldn't last

But I want him to know

I need him to know

But If I need it so much why can't I tell him

My feelings grow and grow

Day by day

I never know what's going on

And I can't control it anymore

I've got to tell him

He's got to know

Cuz if I don't tell him I'll never live it down

Oh but now I see

I can't tell him

Wrong timing

It always is

Now he has that girl

What's her name?

Rosary?

Mosley?

Rosalie! That's it

Anyway

Wrong time

Wrong place

Wrong life.


End file.
